Self Portrait

The distance between us grows.

Cold inside,

like the waning winter sun

on the precipice of a new tomorrow.

Transitions - apparent and unavoidable.

My thoughts fall silently now, like snowflakes.

Wondering,

walking alone already-

though the time has not yet come.

Through the looking glass all becomes clear!

Seeing,

I am no longer who I was.

My true reflection

I have pondered for all these months... in your eyes.

I don’t like it,

the discomfort of becoming me.

Changes of course bring change, even to the depths of us.

Growing into my new self, more in tune with what I need.

While you push me away,

I am no longer in tune with making you happy.

My heart realizes, in the snowy silence , that this is not going to last.

Without my insistence, consistency is not attainable here.

No answers, just a beautiful mosaic.

I pick up the pieces of my life and arrange them-

creating my most precious masterpiece.

Essence

It's a new day.
Bright sun glistens on snow,
warming me through the window.
I am by myself
One, Me, silent.
Strong, growing,
ALIVE.
Nature is within me
I am nature.
Connected in this way,
Connected to Spirit
I will never be alone.

~Sagemyst~

Suspended Intentions

My world is moving like clockwork
To the ticking of the old pendulum near the hearth.
Piece by piece tasks get done, it comes together.

Chapter by chapter I immerse myself in a book.
Trying hard to overlook the hollow feeling
Echoing deep in my gut. Something missing.

Knowing that it is for the best. This time away from you.
Seeing the contrast of what we were just days ago… in pictures
To what we are possibly becoming.

Intermingled with the sadness in my heart
Is a gold thread of hope.
This time please let it be different!
The cravings fed for the last time.

Busy mind, busy heart all processing.
As I walk along the very path that I think I am searching for.
Wondering always what to be…. When of course
I AM what I am being.

How long will I wait here among the din of my life?
Restless to hear your voice and hold you.
Trying to stay on the same page,
Holding to faith.

Feeling the breath move in and out of me.
Tears held back for lack of a reason to cry.
Suspended in time, hanging by the last ray of sunlight.

Tomorrow is another day to journey home.

~Sagemyst~